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    Hamlet

    by William Shakespeare
    MFFE script v5.20 CloudReader v1.05
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  • Act Five Scene One

    A4S7>>> Therefore let's follow.
    Enter two Clowns.
    A4S7--- Therefore let's follow.
    Clown.
    Is she to be buried in Christian burial, that wilfully seeks her own salvation?
    --- her own salvation?
    Other.
    I tell thee she is. Therefore make her Grave straight. The Crowner hath sat on her and finds it Christian burial.
    --- it Christian burial.
    Clown.
    How can that be unless she drowned herself in her own defence?
    --- her own defence?
    Other.
    Why 'tis found so.
    --- 'tis found so.
    Clown.
    It must be Se offendendo. It cannot be else. For here lies the point: if I drown myself wittingly, it argues an Act, and an Act hath three branches - It is to Act, to do, and to perform. Argal, she drowned herself wittingly.
    --- drowned herself wittingly.
    Other.
    Nay, but hear you, Goodman Delver.
    --- you, Goodman Delver.
    Clown.
    Give me leave. Here lies the water - good. Here stands the man - good. If the man go to this water and drown himself, it is, willy-nilly, he goes. Mark you that. But if the water come to him and drown him, he drowns not himself. Argal, he that is not guilty of his own death, shortens not his own life.
    --- his own life.
    Other.
    But is this law?
    --- is this law?
    Clown.
    Ay, marry is't. Crowner's 'Quest Law.
    --- Crowner's 'Quest Law.
    Other.
    Will you ha' the truth on't. If this had not been a Gentlewoman, she should have been buried out of Christian Burial.
    --- of Christian Burial.
    Clown.
    Why, there thou say'st, and the more pity that great folk should have countenance in this world to drown or hang themselves more than their even Christians. Come, my Spade. There is no ancient Gentlemen, but Gardeners, Ditchers and Grave-makers. They hold up Adam's Profession.
    --- up Adam's Profession.
    Other.
    Was he a Gentleman?
    --- he a Gentleman?
    Clown.
    He was the first that ever bore Arms.
    --- ever bore Arms.
    Other.
    Why he had none.
    --- he had none.
    Clown.
    What, ar't a Heathen? How doth thou understand the Scripture? The Scripture says Adam digged. Could he dig without Arms? I'll put another question to thee. If thou answerest me not to the purpose, confess thyself ---
    --- purpose, confess thyself -
    Other.
    Go to.
    --- Go to.
    Clown.
    What is he that builds stronger than either the Mason, the Shipwright, or the Carpenter?
    --- or the Carpenter?
    Other.
    The Gallows maker; for that Frame outlives a thousand Tenants.
    --- a thousand Tenants.
    Clown.
    I like thy wit well, in good faith. The Gallows does well. But how does it well? It does well to those that do ill. Now, thou dost ill to say the Gallows is built stronger than the Church. Argal, the Gallows may do well to thee. To't again, come.
    --- To't again, come.
    Other.
    Who builds stronger than a Mason, a Shipwright, or a Carpenter?
    --- or a Carpenter?
    Clown.
    Ay, tell me that and unyoke.
    --- that and unyoke.
    Other.
    Marry, now I can tell.
    --- I can tell.
    Clown.
    To't!
    --- To't!
    Other.
    Mass, I cannot tell.
    >>> I cannot tell.
    Enter Hamlet and Horatio a far off.
    --- I cannot tell.
    Clown.
    Cudgel thy brains no more about it, for your dull Ass will not mend his pace with beating. And when you are asked this question next, say a Grave-maker. The Houses that he makes last till Doomsday. Go get thee to Yaughan and fetch me a stoup of Liquor.
    >>> stoup of Liquor.
    Exit Other.
    Sings.
    In youth when I did love, did love,
    Methought it was very sweet
    To contract-a the time for-a my behove,
    O, methought there-a was nothing-a meet!
    --- was nothing-a meet!
    Hamlet.
    Has this fellow no feeling of his business? He sings at Grave-making?
    --- sings at Grave-making?
    Horatio.
    Custom hath made it in him a property of easiness.
    --- property of easiness.
    Hamlet.
    'Tis e'en so. The hand of little employment hath the daintier sense.
    >>> the daintier sense.
    --- the daintier sense.
    Clown.
    Sings.
    But Age with his stealing steps
    Hath caught me in his clutch
    And hath shipped me into the Land
    As if I had never been such.
    >>> never been such.
    Throws up a skull.
    --- never been such.
    Hamlet.
    That Skull had a tongue in it and could sing once. How the knave jowls it to the ground, as if t'were Cain's Jawbone, that did the first murder. It might be the Pate of a Politician which this Ass o'er Offices - one that could circumvent God, might it not?
    --- might it not?
    Horatio.
    It might, my Lord.
    --- might, my Lord.
    Hamlet.
    Or of a Courtier which could say, 'Good Morrow, sweet Lord, how dost thou, good Lord?' This might be my Lord Such-a-One, that praised my Lord Such-a-One's Horse when he meant to beg it, might it not?
    --- might it not?
    Horatio.
    Ay, my Lord.
    --- Aye, my Lord.
    Hamlet.
    Why e'en so. And now my Lady Worm's - Chapless, and knocked about the Mazard with a Sexton's Spade. Here's fine Revolution if we had the trick to see't. Did these bones cost no more the breeding but to play at Loggets with 'em? Mine ache to think on't.
    --- to think on't.
    Clown.
    Sings.
    A Pickaxe and a Spade, a Spade,
    For and a shrouding-Sheet,
    O, a Pit of Clay for to be made,
    For such a Guest is meet.
    >>> Guest is meet.
    Throws up another skull.
    --- Guest is meet.
    Hamlet.
    There's another! Why, might not that be the Skull of a Lawyer? Where be his Quiddities now - his Quillets, his Cases, his Tenures, and his Tricks? Why does he suffer this rude knave now to knock him about the Sconce with a dirty Shovel, and will not tell him of his Action of Battery? Hum! This fellow might be in's time a great buyer of Land, with his Statutes, his Recognizances, his Fines, his double Vouchers, his Recoveries. Is this the fine of his Fines, and the recovery of his Recoveries, to have his fine Pate full of fine Dirt? Will his Vouchers vouch him no more of his Purchases and double ones too than the length and breadth of a pair of Indentures? The very Conveyances of his Lands will hardly lie in this Box, and must the Inheritor himself have no more, ha?
    --- no more, ha?
    Horatio.
    Not a jot more, my Lord.
    --- more, my Lord.
    Hamlet.
    Is not Parchment made of Sheepskins?
    --- made of Sheepskins?
    Horatio.
    Ay, my Lord, and of Calves' skins too.
    --- Calves' skins too.
    Hamlet.
    They are Sheep and Calves that seek out assurance in that. I will speak to this fellow. Whose Grave's this, Sir?
    --- Grave's this, Sir?
    Clown.
    Mine, Sir,
    Sings.
    O, a Pit of Clay for to be made,
    For such a Guest is meet.
    --- Guest is meet.
    Hamlet.
    I think it be thine, indeed, for thou liest in't.
    --- thou liest in't.
    Clown.
    You lie out on't, Sir, and therefore it is not yours. For my part I do not lie in't, yet it is mine.
    --- it is mine.
    Hamlet.
    Thou dost lie in't, to be in't and say 'tis thine. 'Tis for the dead, not for the quick. Therefore thou liest.
    --- Therefore thou liest.
    Clown.
    'Tis a quick lie, Sir, 'twill away again from me to you.
    --- me to you.
    Hamlet.
    What man dost thou dig it for?
    --- dig it for?
    Clown.
    For no man, Sir.
    --- no man, Sir.
    Hamlet.
    What woman, then?
    --- What woman, then?
    Clown.
    For none, neither.
    --- For none, neither.
    Hamlet.
    Who is to be buried in't?
    --- be buried in't?
    Clown.
    One that was a woman, Sir; but rest her Soul she's dead.
    --- Soul she's dead.
    Hamlet.
    To Horatio.
    How absolute the knave is! We must speak by the Card or equivocation will undo us. By the Lord, Horatio, these three years I have taken note of it, the Age is grown so picked that the toe of the Peasant comes so near the heels of our Courtier he galls his Kibe. How long hast thou been a Grave-maker?
    --- been a Grave-maker?
    Clown.
    Of all the days i'th' year I came to't that day that our last King Hamlet o'ercame Fortinbras.
    --- Hamlet o'ercame Fortinbras.
    Hamlet.
    How long is that since?
    --- is that since?
    Clown.
    Cannot you tell that? Every fool can tell that! It was the very day, that young Hamlet was born - he that was mad and sent into England.
    --- sent into England.
    Hamlet.
    Ay, marry. Why was he sent into England?
    --- sent into England?
    Clown.
    Why, because he was mad. He shall recover his wits there. Or if he do not, it's no great matter there.
    --- great matter there.
    Hamlet.
    Why?
    --- Why?
    Clown.
    'Twill not be seen in him. There the men are as mad as he.
    --- mad as he.
    Hamlet.
    How came he mad?
    --- came he mad?
    Clown.
    Very strangely, they say.
    --- strangely, they say.
    Hamlet.
    How, strangely?
    --- How strangely?
    Clown.
    Faith, e'en with losing his wits.
    --- losing his wits.
    Hamlet.
    Upon what ground?
    --- Upon what ground?
    Clown.
    Why, here in Denmark. I have been sexton here, man and Boy, thirty years.
    --- Boy, thirty years.
    Hamlet.
    How long will a man lie i'th' earth ere he rot?
    --- ere he rot?
    Clown.
    I'faith, if he be not rotten before he die (as we have many pocky Corpses nowadays, that will scarce hold the laying in) he will last you some eight year - or nine year - a Tanner will last you nine year.
    --- you nine year.
    Hamlet.
    Why he more than another?
    --- more than another?
    Clown.
    Why, sir, his hide is so tanned with his Trade that he will keep out water a great while. And your water is a sore Decayer of your whoreson dead body. Here's a Skull now. This Skull has lain in the earth three and twenty years.
    --- and twenty years.
    Hamlet.
    Whose was it?
    --- Whose was it?
    Clown.
    A whoreson mad Fellow's it was. Whose do you think it was?
    --- think it was?
    Hamlet.
    Nay, I know not.
    --- I know not.
    Clown.
    A pestilence on him for a mad Rogue, 'a poured a Flagon of Rhenish on my head once! This same Skull, Sir, this same Skull, sir, was Yorick's Skull, the King's Jester.
    --- the King's Jester.
    Hamlet.
    This?
    --- This?
    Clown.
    E'en that.
    --- E'en that.
    Hamlet.
    Let me see. Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him Horatio, a fellow of infinite Jest, of most excellent fancy. He hath borne me on his back a thousand times, and how abhorred my Imagination is. My gorge rises at it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft. Where be your Jibes now - your Gambols, Your Songs, Your flashes of Merriment, that were wont to set the Table on a Roar? No one now to mock your own Jeering, quite chopfallen. Now get you to my Lady's Chamber, and tell her, let her paint an inch thick, to this favour she must come. Make her laugh at that. Prithee, Horatio, tell me one thing.
    --- me one thing.
    Horatio.
    What's that, my Lord?
    --- that my Lord?
    Hamlet.
    Dost thou think Alexander looked o'this fashion i'th' earth?
    --- fashion i'th' earth?
    Horatio.
    E'en so.
    --- E'en so.
    Hamlet.
    And smelt so? Pah!
    --- smelt so? Pah!
    Horatio.
    E'en so, my Lord.
    --- so, my Lord.
    Hamlet.
    To what base uses we may return, Horatio! Why may not Imagination trace the Noble dust of Alexander till he find it stopping a bunghole?
    --- stopping a bunghole?
    Horatio.
    'Twere to consider too curiously to consider so.
    --- to consider so.
    Hamlet.
    No, faith, not a jot. But to follow him thither with modesty enough and likelihood to lead it. As thus: Alexander died, Alexander was buried, Alexander returneth into dust, the dust is earth, of earth we make Loam, and why of that Loam whereto he was converted might they not stop a Beer-barrel?
    Imperial Caesar, dead and turned to clay,
    Might stop a hole to keep the wind away.
    Oh, that that earth which kept the world in awe
    Should patch a Wall t'expel the winter's flaw.

    But soft, but soft awhile, here comes the King,
    >>> comes the King.
    Enter King, Queen, Laertes, and a Coffin, with Lords attendant.
    The Queen, the Courtiers. Who is that they follow?
    And with such maimed rites? This doth betoken
    The Corpse they follow, did with desparate hand
    Foredo its own life. 'Twas of some Estate.
    Couch we awhile, and mark.
    >>> awhile, and mark.
    Hamlet and Horatio stand aside.
    --- awhile, and mark.
    Laertes.
    What Ceremony else?
    --- What Ceremony else?
    Hamlet.
    Aside to Horatio.
    That is Laertes - a very Noble youth, Mark.
    --- Noble youth, Mark.
    Laertes.
    What Ceremony else?
    --- What Ceremony else?
    Priest.
    Her Obsequies have been as far enlarged
    As we have warranty. Her death was doubtful;
    And but that great Command o'er-sways the order
    She should in ground unsanctified have lodged,
    Till the last Trumpet; for charitable prayers,
    Shards, Flints and Pebbles should be thrown on her:
    Yet here she is allowed her Virgin Rites,
    Her Maiden strewments, and the bringing home
    Of Bell and Burial.
    --- Bell and Burial.
    Laertes.
    Must there no more be done?
    --- more be done?
    Priest.
    No more be done.
    We should profane the service of the dead
    To sing sage Requiem and such rest to her
    As to peace-parted Souls.
    --- to peace-parted Souls.
    Laertes.
    Lay her i'th' earth,
    And from her fair and unpolluted flesh
    May Violets spring. I tell thee, churlish Priest,
    A Ministering Angel shall my Sister be
    When thou liest howling.
    --- thou liest howling?
    Hamlet.
    What, the fair Ophelia?
    --- the fair Ophelia?
    Queen.
    Sweets, to the sweet. Farewell.
    I hoped thou shouldst have been my Hamlet's wife:
    I thought thy Bride-bed to have decked, sweet Maid,
    And not t'have strewed thy Grave.
    --- strewed thy Grave.
    Laertes.
    Oh, terrible wooer,
    Fall ten times treble on that cursed head
    Whose wicked deed thy most Ingenious sense
    Deprived thee of. Hold off the earth awhile,
    Till I have caught her once more in mine arms.
    >>> in mine arms:
    Leaps in the grave.
    Now pile your dust, upon the quick and dead
    Till of this flat a Mountain you have made
    To o'ertop old Pelion or the skyish head
    Of blue Olympus.
    >>> Of blue Olympus.
    Hamlet comes forward.
    --- Of blue Olympus.
    Hamlet.
    What is he whose griefs
    Bears such an Emphasis, whose phrase of Sorrow
    Conjures the wandering Stars and makes them stand
    Like wonder-wounded hearers? This is I,
    Hamlet the Dane.
    >>> Hamlet the Dane.
    Laertes leaps out and grapples with him.
    --- Hamlet the Dane.
    Laertes.
    The devil take thy soul!
    --- take thy soul!
    Hamlet.
    Thou pray'st not well.
    I prithee take thy fingers from my throat,
    Sir, though I am not Spleenative and rash,
    Yet have I something in me dangerous
    Which let thy wiseness fear. Away thy hand.
    --- Away thy hand.
    King.
    Pluck them asunder.
    --- Pluck them asunder.
    Queen.
    Hamlet! Hamlet!
    --- Hamlet, Hamlet.
    All.
    Gentlemen.
    --- Hamlet, Hamlet.
    Horatio.
    Good my Lord, be quiet.
    --- Lord, be quiet.
    Hamlet.
    Why, I will fight with him upon this Theme
    Until my eyelids will no longer wag.
    --- no longer wag.
    Queen.
    Oh my Son, what Theme?
    --- Son, what Theme?
    Hamlet.
    I loved Ophelia - forty thousand Brothers
    Could not with all there quantity of Love
    Make up my sum. What wilt thou do for her?
    --- do for her?
    King.
    Oh he is mad, Laertes.
    --- is mad Laertes,
    Queen.
    For love of God, forbear him.
    --- God forbear him.
    Hamlet.
    Come show me what thou'lt do.
    Would weep, would fight, would tear thyself,
    Would drink up Eisil, eat a Crocodile?
    I'll do't. Dost thou come here to whine,
    To outface me with leaping in her Grave?
    Be buried quick with her, and so will I.
    And if thou prate of Mountains let them throw
    Millions of Acres on us till our ground,
    Singeing his pate against the burning Zone,
    Make Ossa like a wart. Nay, and thou'lt mouth,
    I'll rant as well as thou.
    --- well as thou.
    King.
    This is mere Madness,
    And thus awhile the fit will work on him.
    Anon, as patient as the female Dove
    When that her Golden Couplets are disclosed,
    His silence will sit drooping.
    --- will sit drooping.
    Hamlet.
    Hear you, Sir,
    What is the reason that you use me thus?
    I loved you ever - but it is no matter.
    Let Hercules himself do what he may,
    The Cat will Mew and Dog will have his day.
    >>> have his day.
    Exit Hamlet.
    --- have his day.
    King.
    I pray you good Horatio wait upon him.
    >>> wait upon him.
    Exit Horatio.
    Aside to Laertes.
    Strengthen your patience in our last night's speech,
    We'll put the matter to the present push. -
    Good Gertrude, set some watch over your Son.
    This Grave shall have a living Monument:
    An hour of quiet shortly shall we see;
    Till then in patience our proceeding be.
    >>> our proceeding be.
    Exeunt.
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